Family breakdowns are hard for everyone involved, but especially for the children. We’ve all seen it happen, couples that seem perfectly happy all of a sudden announcing their separation. Of course, we never think that it will happen to us, but the truth is it can. What is important to understand is that should you and your partner decide to break up, that dealing with things in the right way is crucial.
It might be an upsetting time but you need to ensure that you get things sorted out as quickly as possible. This is important as kids can struggle with big changes. So the sooner everything is dealt with, the better. For everything that you need to do after a family separation, keep reading.
Tell your children
Before you go ahead and talk to your kids about your separation, it’s a good idea to discuss it with your ex-partner. You both want what’s best for your children, so it’s important to take the time to work out how to explain to them what’s happening. It’s normal for kids to get upset, blame themselves, or even become angry. So it’s worth being prepared for any of these reactions.
Make sure that when you’re explaining what’s happening, you make it clear that it’s nothing to do with your children. Often, kids get it into their heads that their parent's breakup is due to them when that’s not the case. It’s also a good idea to allow them to ask any questions and to answer them as truthfully as possible.
Attempt to deal with things amicably
It’s best to deal with things amicably as this makes the process much easier. Of course, working things out amicably can be hard to do, especially when you and your ex-partner have differing views on things. Attempt to keep things ‘friendly’ by attending mediation.
If you manage to deal with things in an amicable way, that doesn’t mean you don’t need a lawyer. When it comes to family law, things are incredibly complicated, so it’s best to have a lawyer on hand to make the process easier. Let your ex-partner know that you’re getting a lawyer, so that they don’t feel tricked. Explain that it’s best if you both has lawyers as this will make the process quicker and easier for everyone.
Focus on child custody and who will live where
By far the most difficult part of family breakdowns is child custody and working out who will live where. Custody is often the hardest part of finalising a divorce, as naturally, both parents want to spend time with their little ones. What it’s important to remember is that the children are the most important thing. So what they want should always be taken into consideration.
Ten years ago, kids would spend the majority of time with their mother after a divorce. However, today that’s no longer the case. If both you and your ex-partner are good parents, then a good option is joint custody. Split the time with your children equally, and that way both you and your ex-partner get to spend time with them.
So there you have it, the most important steps to take after a family breakdown.
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